I was already dead on the inside, it just took me a while to show it on the outside. I hesitated, and I waited, I waited for some help, help that never came.
But people only care when it’s too late.
And even then, I’m still not sure if they care.
I think they just care about their guilt, they’re trying to figure out what they did wrong, why they didn’t see the signs. They don’t really care about how you felt before dying. They just wanna make sure that they’re not the ones to blame. You’re invisible during your whole life, trying to achieve things, trying your best. But then suddenly for no reason at all, you lose all strenght. Everything that kept you going. You’re tired and sad, and you don’t want pitty, you just want your life back. And in the beginning you’re thinking : this is just a fase, it will pass away. But after a while you realize, that it’s more than just a fase. This is your life now. And I think some people just don’t belong on this earth. ‘Cause in the end, it’s not you who chose to be on this world.
You want me to stop feeling insecure but at the same time you give me the feeling that I’m worthless.
You say I have it easy, that I’m sad for no reason. That your problems are bigger. Well fact is your problems can be fixed, you can just get rid of it. I wish I was in your position. You know how hard it is to feel insane worthless ugly fat pathetic and disgusting everyday uncontrollably? No you don’t so don’t tell me your problems are worse they can easily be fixed, my thoughts can’t…